What interesting matter are we going to talk about this time? If I were to phrase it as a question, it would be: Why is forgiving others so important? I mean, we know we're supposed to, right? For Jesus says that if we forgive others, God forgives us; but if we do not forgive them, God will not forgive us either.1 But is there a reason given for why this is so? That is what we are going to explore in this chat.
And by the way, welcome to our kitchen table, where friends share good conversation over very good coffee. Conversations between those who want to enrich their faith, one thoughtful sip at a time.
And if you like these get-togethers and this way of talking things over, please like this video and subscribe to this channel. Thank you. Oh, and stick with me to the end of this chat; I do have an exciting bit of news to share with you. Thank you. Here we go.
So, why is forgiving others so important? Well, let me start by sharing the two most common answers that I hear for why we should forgive others. The first one runs something like this: “We forgive for our own sanity and well-being. It’s just healthier to forgive and let it go. We feel better doing so.” And yes, it is healthier to do so. But is that the reason God will not forgive us if we do not forgive, because we are neglecting our own well-being? That doesn’t sound right; I mean, especially when we look at this through the lens of a relationship with Jesus. I mean, that seems very self-centered, doesn’t it? And as we have seen in other chats, self-centeredness is always something less than relational, less than loving. Now don’t get me wrong, as a benefit, it’s beautiful; but as a motivation, it’s not so great. And, you know, as Jesus is our example in all things, I don’t see Jesus coming and dying on a cross so our sins could be forgiven just so he could feel better about himself. Yeah, that makes no sense to you either, does it?
Now, the second most common answer I hear is, “Well, because God said to.”
Well… yes, he did. For just one example, he did so in the Lord’s Prayer, as found in Matthew 6:9-14. In verse 12, Jesus ties God’s forgiveness of our sins directly to our forgiveness of others. And then, in verse 14, he gets very specific and says that if we do not forgive others, he will not forgive us.2 So, yes, God did say this was very important. But that doesn’t answer our question about why it is so important. So let me ask, can we find a possible reason for this?
Well, let’s start with the basics, the things on which all else is built. Always a good place to start. The first basic is the lens we use to look at everything here: what it means to be a Christian. Which is, first and foremost, a relationship with Jesus that leads to learning from him and to living for him based on what he teaches. If we forget this basic, we get mere hollow religious practices, not a vibrant, loving relationship that teaches and leads to authentic religious practices. Second, Jesus says that all teaching in the Bible is based on the 2 greatest commands ever given: to love. First, God with our entire being, and then our neighbors as ourselves.
I know these get mentioned a lot here over our coffee. But if we forget these basics, we lose truth and merely gain cold, hard facts. And the Pharisees of Jesus’ day are prime examples of what happens then.
Anyway, by starting with these basics, we can see that this instruction about forgiving others must also be based on love. So to forgive is part of loving God with our entire being and our neighbors as ourselves. And so, to not forgive is to not love. And as John says in 1 John 4:8, if we do not love, we do not even know God.3So, if we don’t forgive, we don’t know God. That is one major reason forgiveness is so important, don’t you think? And it is one that shows that the first reason we mentioned, of it being healthier to forgive, being the motivation for forgiving, just doesn’t hold water for the follower of Jesus.
Now, before you say, “Wait, I know God, I’m a Christian. So how can this apply to me?” Let me take this one step further: last time we talked about how sin is the choice not to love. Since the choice not to forgive is a choice not to love, this, too, is a sin. And sin separates us from God; so choosing not to forgive keeps you separated from God. Because, as with any sin, by making that choice, we have turned our backs on him and pursued our own interests. Here’s a question for you: How can we experience forgiveness when we have turned and walked away from the one who offers it? Simply put, we can’t. No wonder we can’t experience forgiveness if we don’t forgive.
In addition to all this, I found some very interesting passages in both the Old and New Testaments that speak about how love and forgiveness work together. These include Proverbs 10:12, 1 Corinthians 13:5, and 1 Peter 4:8, all of which state that love covers over sin; it takes no account of evil. Both of which are ways of saying that it forgives. And in Proverbs 17:9, we are told that forgiveness actually promotes love. Isn’t that profound? Love forgives; it just does. And forgiveness promotes love; it just does.
Yes, love and forgiveness are two different things. But in our studentship from Jesus, we have just learned that they go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. If you love, you forgive. If you forgive, you love. And, as importantly, if you do not forgive, you do not love, and if you do not love, well, not to be a dead horse, you are not a follower of Jesus, because you don’t really know him. This is the importance of forgiving others.
Before we wrap up our time together, there is one more very important thing that using our lens of what it means to be a Christian does for this conversation. It helps us remember that relationships take time to grow. Our ability to do what Jesus teaches takes time to grow. And Jesus gives us room to grow as we learn from and live for him. He honors baby steps, though not childish stalling. And if you are like me, you tend to need all the room you can get. I am very grateful that, as long as I’m willing to learn and then put what I have learned into practice, Jesus will help me get there. He will help me to forgive. It may be difficult, but if I follow him, he will get me there.
Anyway. What do you think? Please remember that this is a very brief chat. Much more can be said about this than can be covered here. But, with that in mind, my coffee cup is telling me that it’s now time for your part of this here conversation. Let me know your thoughts on this in this video’s comments section. Thank you for watching and for sharing.
Oh, and now for that something exciting I told you about, and if you like this manner of sharing Jesus with each other, you may find it exciting too. A 30-day devotional that I have put together has just been published. This devotional explores what love is and how it is something deeper, stronger, and more stable than mere emotions. It is indeed foundational to the Christian life. It is available wherever you get good books. This is an extra-special announcement: if you order it through the Simple Not Shallow website, I’ll give you a 15% discount. I’ll put a link to this book’s homepage in the description box. You are welcome.
And make sure to check out the Thought of the Day that is posted each morning at 8 am CST on our website, simplenotshallow.com. These thoughts are offered to inspire you and help you contemplate God and your relationship with him throughout the day. The link is also in the description box below. And check out our audio podcast, also linked below. This podcast is hosted by Gerald Yerkes, who brings 54 years of experience as a pastor to each episode. Join him as he shares insights into God, God’s Word, and living the Christian life.
Well, until next time. May your relationship with Jesus continue to grow well-rounded and richly satisfying, and may coffee, into your cup, always flow.
Link to “What is Sin?”
1 Matthew 6:14 - If we forgive others, God will forgive us, but if we do not forgive them, God will not forgive us.
2 Matthew 6: 12-15 - The Lord’s Prayer ties our forgiving others to God forgiving us. And stating that if we don’t forgive, we will not be forgiven.
3 1 John 4:8 – If we don’t love, we don’t know God.
Other Passages:
Proverbs 10:12; 1 Corinthians 13:5; and 1 Peter 4:8 ~ Love forgives, covers over sin.
Proverbs 17:9 ~ Forgiveness promotes love.